Negativity leads to victimhood, lashing out, placing blame, and, ultimately, stagnation. Lately, I’ve been struggling with my own negativity. I can point to external influences—events, people, and my perceptions—but deep down, I know my responses are my own choices.
So, what has been feeding this negativity, victimhood, and stagnation? Over the past few days, I’ve immersed myself in articles that push a steady stream of headlines about female victimhood and the patriarchy. I’ve dwelled on perceived slights from others. I’ve let negative self-talk convince me that I’m too old, that I have nothing important to say, that I’m becoming irrelevant.
It’s clear that I’ve slipped back into my default mode—allowing my self-worth, actions, and perceptions to be shaped by others and by circumstances beyond my control. It’s a familiar struggle, one rooted in self-doubt and a lack of confidence.
Then, I come across Jesus’ words in Mark 7:14-23:
“Nothing that enters one from outside can defile that person; but the things that come out from within are what defile.”
Wow. There it is—truth, plain and simple. It is not the people, events, or even my past that make me negative. Yes, they have an influence, but ultimately, the way I respond, the way I allow these things to shape me—that is my choice.
What does it mean to “defile”? The word carries meanings like to sully, to mar, to spoil. Jesus is saying that it’s not what happens to us, but what flows out from within us—our words, attitudes, and actions—that can truly harm us.
I see it clearly now: I’ve been allowing negativity to spoil my spirit, attitude, and beliefs about myself. But I also recognize that I have a choice. I can choose what I consume—what I read, what I watch, what I internalize. I can choose the way I speak to myself and others. I can choose whether to lift up or tear down, whether to cultivate gratitude or dwell in resentment.
But what about those reactions that seem automatic? Those knee-jerk responses of insecurity, anger, or self-doubt? That’s where awareness begins. The key is recognizing these tendencies and bringing them before God.
So, how do I change what comes from within?
Pray daily, asking for the grace to recognize my choices and how they shape my spirit and those around me.
Seek courage, to face my own thoughts and patterns honestly.
Trust in God, surrendering to Him as He works, layer by layer, to remove what holds me back from fully living in His light.
Negativity may knock at the door, but I don’t have to let it in. With God’s grace, I can choose to walk in truth, in gratitude, and in the confidence of His love.
Sylvia M. Olberding 